Meeting someone organically, or “in the wild” as some call it, is a challenge these days. Unless you’ve got a strong case of main character syndrome or are literally the star of a romantic comedy, you’re more likely to meet someone by online dating through an app or browser.
But online dating isn’t always easy. It can be tough to keep up a conversation with someone you don’t know anything about, especially if you’re only basing your opinion on their looks. And that’s if you can even find someone worth striking up a conversation with in the first place (a.k.a. someone who doesn’t immediately give you “the ick.”)
We found some great dating app options, specifically for men, that are a good place to start when you’re ready to put yourself out there. Read on for tips on how to navigate the online dating scene, and our tried-and-true recommendations for the best apps to do it with.
Why is online dating so hard?
Online dating poses a challenge for both men and women, but in different ways: If it’s a lady you’re pursuing, chances are she’s received more than a few unsolicited messages already. For women, maneuvering around the bounty of creeps is often more work than it’s worth.
I’m a straight guy who never dated. Here’s what I’ve learned.
Knowing what to say when you’re first messaging someone can feel impossible. You don’t want to come across as weird or too overeager, but you also don’t want to seem uninterested. It’s a fine line to walk, and with the added competition, a seemingly unfeasible challenge. Here are a few tips to help you get the conversation started, and help you move past that first message writer’s block.
Be yourself and respect boundaries
The internet is plagued with tales of nasty messages and absolutely whack opening lines from unsavory men. Avoiding being “that guy” with someone you just matched with shouldn’t be hard — simply don’t be pushy about sexting, getting a phone number, or meeting up in person. (Just don’t be pushy about anything, really.)
As for devising an opener that’ll blossom into a nice conversation, it’s important to remember that even the most harmless intent to be funny or flattering can quickly go south.
For men who are a little rusty or generally shy about messaging first, choosing the right dating app can make all the difference. Bumble, the app where only women can make the first move, is an obvious safe choice for the latter.
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Here’s a good rule of thumb: Be yourself. There’s no magic formula for finding the perfect match, but being yourself is your best bet to find someone who shares your interests and values. It also doesn’t hurt to look at their profile before you start chatting. This will help you get a better idea of who they are and what they’re looking for. Seeing someone’s hobbies, favorite movies, career goals, or even political views before talking to them opens up a wealth of clever icebreakers.
Be honest about what you want
Tinder can be the right app for some singles, but it’s not the only option. If you find yourself constantly deleting and re-downloading Tinder every other month, it might be time to try a different dating site.
Think about what’s not working: Is it too entrenched in hookup culture? Is it not focused on hookups enough? Do you find yourself mixing intentions with people not looking for the same thing? Each dating site serves a different purpose, and things are a lot easier when you’re mingling with people who want what you want.
What are the best dating sites for men?
The answer to this question isn’t a one-size-fits-all answer, but we’re here to help you pick the best option based on what you’re looking for.
From fling-based apps to dating sites that cater to more serious relationships, here are the best dating sites and apps for single men — whether you’re looking for a date, movie buddy, friend with benefits, or full-on love and commitment.